Nine Tales O'Jack
by Nonny The Anon One
Summary: Stories told by Jack Fenton:  Chapter Two: Behold the horror of the Wardrobe Malfunction. We'll all be scarred for life.
1. EctoFudge

**This is going to be a series of nine one shot stories centered around Jack Fenton. More A/N at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not nor will I ever own Danny Phantom or the related characters. I do own a tee shirt though, so I'm happy. **

**Yes, this is supposed to be a little random.**

Nine Tales O'Jack

**ECTO-FUDGE**

Jack Fenton was a man with a weakness, and that weakness was called fudge. He didn't care what kind it was, be it white chocolate fudge, peanut butter fudge, raspberry chocolate fudge or classic creamy chocolate fudge, he loved it all, in vast quantities.

It had been a joke for sometime within the Fenton household that if the fudge industry ever went bust, that Jack himself would be able to resurrect it himself by the sheer force of his cravings for the creamy, delicious confection.

This is a tale which almost caused Jack Fenton to swear off fudge forever, this is the tale of Ecto-fudge!

_"Dude," Tucker Foley said as he leaned and whispered to Danny. "Since when does your father talk about himself in third person."_

_Daniel Fenton, fourteen year old son of Jack Fenton leaned on his hand and looked at his friend tiredly. "Only when he's gearing up to tell a very long, boring story," he answered._

"_Oh kill me now," Sam said as she laid her head on the table._

The story begins during a hot summer day, when all of the Fenton family, save Jack had abandoned Fenton Works for more exciting climes.

_"Hooray for Floody Waters," Danny said as he threw his arms in the air, then closed his mouth as Jack raised his eyebrow at his son and placed his hands back in his lap and tried to look chastised._

Since Jack's wife, the beautiful, brainy, talented Maddie Fenton was out of the house, Jack decided that it would be the perfect time to experiment on a recipe which had been rattling around in Jack's brain for a long time.

_"We wondered what that noise was," Danny said to Tucker._

But, Maddie would never allow her husband into the kitchen for such an experiment. Since she wasn't around to say no, Jack decided the answer was yes!

_"Just say no," Sam said as she shook her head. "Say no to fudge." Danny shot her a strange look and she smiled and shrugged._

For some time, Jack had been thinking of ways to improve the creamy and wonderful goodness of fudge, so he stole into the kitchen armed with all the proper ingredients

_"He's going to give us the entire list of ingredients, isn't he?" Tucker asked almost worriedly._

_"Yup," Danny said as he continued to sit at the table with his head resting on his hand."_

_"Really," Sam said. "Kill me now. I mean it."_

Jack gathered together sugar, cream, corn syrup, unsweetened chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, butter, vanilla and a large jar of ectoplasam and put them on the table!

_"Where they started to dance a little jig," Sam whispered to Danny who elbowed her and told her to be quiet._

_"Don't encourage him Sam. You'll make this story longer than it has to be."_

_"Oh!" Sam said as she widened her eyes. "Sorry."_

It is important to cook your fudge over low heat, and Jack knew this because he had been through the fudge making process many times and learned the hard way that scorched fudge does not taste good.

_"A little like cooked rubber boots," Danny said._

_"How do you know what cooked rubber boots taste like?" Tucker asked. Danny rolled his eyes and sighed._

_"That's what he had for dinner last night," Sam answered. Danny snorted._

After Jack had nearly finished the fudge, which would have been award winning on it's own, he added two ounces of fresh ectoplasm.

_"And we all know what happens when you heat up ectoplasm," Tucker sighed._

The pan of fudge began to rattle, shake and then screamed. Jack jumped back shouting in horror as the confection took on a eerie green glow, grew sharp fangs and glowing red eyes. He tried to fend off the green goo by attacking it with a whisk.

_"I bet he screamed like a girl," Tucker remarked._

_"You scream like a girl," Danny teased._

_"Shut up guys," Sam said sarcastically, "He's probably going to quiz us on this."_

_"Ooo," Danny said as he grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "You're probably right._

Jack learned quickly that a flimsy wire whisk is a poor weapon against a hot, oozing pile of ectoplasmic fudge.

_"Ya think?" Danny said as he snickered to himself. Tucker made a shushing noise, and Sam laughed._

The steaming pile of creamy goodness gone bad chased poor Jack Fenton around the kitchen until an idea hit him. What is the opposite of fudge?.

The three friends looked at each other questioningly. All three blinking in worry as they looked at Jack, who was looking back expecting an answer.

_"Lemonade?" Tucker asked._

_"Turkey," Danny said._

_"Turkey?" Tucker replied. "Why turkey?"_

_"I wasn't answering Turkey," Danny clarified. "I was calling you a turkey."_

_"Oh!" Tucker said than laughed weakly. "You're so witty Danny."_

_"Just like his father," Sam said dryly which gained a look of horror from Danny._

The opposite of fudge is not fudge! So Jack grabbed a sauce pan and began hitting the fearsome ecto-fudge creature with the device. Unfortunately, the fudge creature had gained some sort of power after the attack with the whisk and it promptly devoured the pan.

_"The opposite of fudge is not fudge?" Sam asked as she shook her head. "That doesn't make sense. That's like saying the opposite of dark is not dark."_

_"Well technically," Tucker interrupted. "That would be true, because if it's not dark it's light and light is the opposite of dark."_

_"Shut up Tucker," Sam and Danny said in unison._

Jack did not relish the thought of having to tell his beautiful and sweet wife, Maddie that along with her favorite cooking utensils, but her adoring husband had been devoured by an evil ecto-fudge creature.

_"Yeah," Sam said. "It would be a little hard to explain how and why you were devoured by an mass of ecto-plasmic fudge if you've be devoured by it already."_

_"He could have left a note," Tucker suggested._

_"Shut up you two," Danny said, trying not to laugh._

Jack Fenton decided that leaving a note for his wife explaining his untimely demise would be a poor idea, as it was likely the ecto-plasmic fudge would have already made short work of him before he could write the first line.

_"So much for your brilliant idea Tuck," Sam laughed._

The conclusion was quickly drawn that the ecto-plasmic fudge could not be allowed to devour the dashing Jack Fenton, so he ran to the freezer for some ice.

_"I told you the opposite of fudge was lemonade," Tucker snickered. "Lemonade with ice."_

_"Maybe he was going to ask the fudge if it was thirsty." Sam suggested. Danny groaned and looked at the ceiling._

Jack quickly poured several trays of ice on the offending creature. Causing the fudge to set and harden. Soon the ecto-fudge was rendered defensless due to cooling off.

_"Oh man," Tucker groaned. "And I was actually thinking this story was kind of good there for a moment."_

_"You should have known better," Danny laughed._

_"Hope springs eternal," Sam added._

Jack discovered that perhaps making ecto-fudge was not a good idea, so thereafter he only used authentic velveeta cheese in his fudge.

_"That does not sound appetizing," Sam said with a sick look on her face._

_"It's kinda good," Danny told her and smiled at the skeptical look on her face._

The three friends watched as Jack Fenton turned and set a large plate of fudge before them. "And here it is," Jack said. "The infamous ecto-fudge. Do you want some?"

"Uh! No thanks Dad!" Danny said quickly.

"Yeah," Tucker agreed. "I'm trying to cut back."

"My mother says I'm not allowed to eat things that glow," Sam answered.

"Too bad," Jack said as he picked up a piece of fudge. Then growled as he threw a piece of the candy at Danny. The three friends jumped up and ran out of the kitchen as fast as possible. Jack laughed to himself as he sat down and began to eat.

"Jack Fenton!" Maddie said as she walked into the kitchen. "You're going to spoil your supper with all that fudge, besides, I thought I told you I'd made that for Danny and his friends."

Jack smiled to himself as he chewed a piece of creamy, delicious, perfectly normal fudge. "I offered it to them," he told his wife. "But they didn't want any. Really. You can ask." Maddie walked from the kitchen shaking her head.

Jack laughed as he shoved some of the fudge into his pockets. "You are a brilliant man, Jack Fenton. Completely brilliant."

THE END

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**I have decided that I hate everything I've ever written. I still feel like writing though. This idea came to me earlier today and I decided I would run with it. Tell me what you think. Want the other eight stories? **


	2. Wardrobe Malfunction

Wardrobe Malfunction

Jack Fenton was considered a pioneer in many circles. The pioneer of the daily and constant wear of the bright orange, spandex jump suit.

_"Yeah," Danny started. "That is if the circles you travel in include the completely insane."_

"_Oh no!" Tucker groaned. "We're not doing this again are we?"_

"_I'm not really into fashion," Sam said dryly._

Why, people often asked, did Jack Fenton chose the orange jump suit over all the other colors of the rainbow? Jack Fenton says it's because orange is a stand out color. You can't ignore orange. It's the color of power! Glory! Happiness! Orange is the color of sunshine!

_"Orange is also the color convicts in prison wear." Sam stated._

"_How do you know?" Tucker asked._

"_I've seen them on the side of the road, picking up garbage." Sam answered matter of factly._

"_Orange is the color of orange juice," Danny said, causing his friends to look at him worriedly. "Yellow is the color of sunshine."_

When he was a boy, Jack's favorite color was orange, so it only made sense that his jump suit would be orange. No one could miss him, no longer would he fade into the crowd.

_"Dad," Danny said. "I don't believe it's remotely possible for you to fade into a crowd._

"_He's like a big neon sign flashing, Crazy person here! Run!" Sam whispered. Danny gave her an exasperated look and she smiled._

There was a time when Jack did not wear a jump suit exclusively. There was a time when he wore plain clothes. He was a lot like his son Danny at one time in his life. Jack decided he didn't like getting pushed around, so he bulked up.

_"Behold your future," Tucker snickered to Danny._

"_As if," Danny rolled his eyes._

"_I think Danny has his mother's genetics," Sam whispered._

"_And his father's cluelessness," Tucker added. Sam looked at the techno geek and nodded. Danny just shook his head._

Soon no one wanted to mess with big Jack Fenton, but Jack knew there was something missing, so he went in search of something that would make him unique.

_"Of course someone should have clued him in to fashion dos and don'ts before hand," Tucker laughed._

Jack's first attempt at uniquity was a bright purple day glo jumpsuit with pink trimmings.

_"Uniquity isn't a word Dad," Danny informed his father. He looked at his friends, "Is it?"_

_"I don't know," Tucker answered. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the image of your father in a purple day glo jump suit…with pink trimmings."_

_"The very thought hurts my eyes," Sam groaned._

But Jack realized pretty quickly that a purple jump suit with pink trimmings was little, let us say, girly. He needed to find a color that was a little more manly, so he chose green with yellow spangles.

_"Because we all know spangles are anything but girly," Tucker laughed._

"_Yellow ones especially," Sam snickered._

"_Shut up you two," Danny said in mock anger._

It was then that the beautiful and brainy Maddie Fenton proposed the orange and black combination. Jack considered for a moment making the color's yellow and black, but decided he would look too much like a bumble bee.

_"Jack Fenton," Sam said in a bold voice. "Floats like a ton of bricks, stings like a bee."_

"_That is so not funny Sam," Danny said tiredly. Sam smiled._

Orange quickly became Jack Fenton's signature color. But more lies beneath the jumpsuit than just orange and black.

_"Agh!" Sam cried as she covered her ears and closed her eyes. "I don't even want to consider what lies underneath your father's jumpsuit." Both Tucker and Danny nearly rolled on the floor laughing._

The heart of a lion. Fearless and brave lurked under the orange and black! Ready to face anything! Whether it be man or ghost!

_The three friends looked at each other and blinked._

And so, to make his son and his friends, fearless and brave. Jack sat at his work station and sewed them each a suit of their own.

_Sam looked at the orange suit Jack handed her then at Danny who sat with one hand over his face._

_Tucker unfolded the huge orange suit and looked skeptically at Jack. The suit seemed to be three or four hundred sizes too large._

No longer will you fade into the crowd! No longer will you worry about what to wear! Jack Fenton has solved all your problems.

Danny, Sam and Tucker stared at Jack Fenton as he finished his speech. He winked at Danny, then turned to go back down to the lab. The trio's eyes widened, and then much to his horror, Sam and Tucker fell to the floor laughing. Danny just stared at his father's retreating backside, and the tear which gave everyone a nice view of his green boxers with yellow spangles.

Danny turned and looked at Sam and said, "That settles it, I am so adopted." Tucker and Sam continued to roll on the ground laughing. Danny only blinked at them then sighed, he was never going to live this down

The, ermmm uhh, End

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**I know it's a little (a lot) dumb…but come on it's Jack….and it's random and, oh forget it just review.**


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